Monday, May 24, 2010

the gods of boy flesh

i thank thee, o gods of boy flesh!

today while at the gym, i ran into a good friend from the college. he's 19 and his name is jack. i'm convinced that jack is one of the sexiest men on the planet. he's really f*cking ripped. like kellen lutz ripped, with an ALL OVER (yes ladies, i do mean ALL OVER) golden tan. he was in his skimpy little wisp of a speedo and about to take a dip in the pool. alright...i know what you're thinking, "nobody looks good in a speedo". well, you'd just have to see jack to understand.

and i have also received another bountiful gift from aforementioned gods. but let me give you a little back-story first. i work part time as a "bella swan" stand-in at kids parties. my good friend alex works as my "edward cullen" partner. for the record, no there is NO relationship going on there. next month, we'll be at a local theater getting paid to do a stand-in gig for the release of "eclipse". today, on the way to my car in the parking lot of the gym, i ran into this god-like creature and totally dropped my keys. he was like, "whoa. sorry there. lemme get those for you". (he's shirtless too...and just as ripped as jack *drools*) he picks up my keys, hands them back and introduces himself. his name is jacob. it's no coincidence that i happen to live in seattle, have a job as a "bella" stand-in, and meet a tall, dark, native american named jacob who soon agrees to be our jacob for the movie premier. holy hell. i think i've just died and gone straight to hell. if i was in heaven, i don't think there'd be so much temptation in the form of boy flesh! lol.

so that is why we must praise the gods for their glorious bounty they have provided.

anyway, onto my workout i suppose. *sighs*

my workout went well. i burned 500 on the stair-climber, and 570 in the pool. so, a grand total of -1070 today, not including my daily intake. today, as part of my diet, i've eaten a 100 calorie yogurt, a salad with 40 calorie dressing and 100 calorie tofurky (vegetarian turkey), and bran cereal with a 1/4 cup of skim milk.  so, yeah, it might sound like a lot to some of you who eat less than 500 calories a day, but i lose at least 10lbs a week. so to each their own i suppose. good luck to all of you in your hunt for boy/girl flesh. lol.

think thin.

Sunday, May 23, 2010

horrible day

this is my second update today. i'm updating just to say how awful i was today. i basically threw ana to the curb and broke both her legs the way i was! god only knows how many cookies i ate today. damn. if i'd been able to go the the f*cking gym today, none of this would have happened. f*ck! beyond that, i ate f*cking french fries with f*cking cheese! today was just horrid. absolutely dreadful. if anybody's got any tips or tricks for the weekends, please, PLEASE post them in the comments.

on the upside, i have not had to resort to mia. (then again, that's probably because my mom's been following me around all day...) and i'll be going to the gym tomorrow. if i attack the stair-climber again, i should burn off a good 3000+. wish me luck.

i hope somebody out there is doing a hell of a lot better than i am.

think thin.

thinner every day

i'm so fed up with this! every time i get even close to 130lbs, i get invited to a party or a get-together, which forces me to eat something or else people bitch and complain. i'm still trying to stay away from mia. it's hard though. at the party i purged twice. eugh. it's like i didn't learn the first time. but on the bright side, i went to the gym yesterday and burned 2530 calories. which is amazing on my standards.

turns out i was right about the water weight. but i'm actually, for sure this time, down to 135lbs. thank god! looks like i'll have to take my dog out for a major run today to keep those calories burning. have you ever wanted to work-out, but you're just to damn lazy to actually get up and DO anything? I can work out on a machine for hours if i had one in my home, but the fact is that i don't. another fact is the stupid gym i go to isn't open on sudays. damn religious freaks. is it such a sin to want to sweat and burn fat and calories on a sunday?! it's the little things like this that piss me off.

i just woke up a little bit ago and i'm supposed to be doing some of my online course work. i had better get on that before my mom barges in and finds me on blogger. i wish you luck in all of your endeavors this week.

think thin.

p.s. i've almost convinced my mom to get me a laptop! if i do, that means more thinspo and more blogging. yah!

Friday, May 21, 2010


i've chalked up my recent weight loss to nothing more than water weight. so i suppose that just puts me right back up to 140 lbs (64kg). unfortunately, i am going to have to mormon friend is right. caffeine is bad for you. a recent study showed that those who drank a caffeinated drink at least once a day, lost weight very quickly, but soon gained it all back. what they lost was purly water weight and that is what i have been doing. eugh.

anyway, the main topic of this post is to let everybody know that i am joining the bracelet movement within the pro-ana comunity. the colors are as follows:

light pink-ednos
green-currently fasting
black-self injury

i'm not sure what my bracelet will look like yet...

i binged today at lunch and i've gone back to mia. i'm scared of mia actually. i'm terrified that one of these days, my stomach will rupture. eugh. i hope your day goes better than mine has.

think thin

Thursday, May 20, 2010

a new beginging

this is what i want more than anything.
this is the diary of a returned ana.

think thin.